Zack And Amee Louise Burton

zack burton ------ amee louise burton

19-10-1987 ------ 10-2-1998 stillbirth
to
10-12-1999


aged 12
bicycle accident with a car
wrotham road
gravesend - kent
1 sister Danielle
2 brothers Charlie and Marc



AMEE LOUISE 10-2-98 STILLBORN


my precious little amee you were to be my fourth child. i never even got to know you as you was taken from me at almost 32weeks of pregnancy,i had'nt felt very well during the day, i had, had a bad headache all day and then in the late afternoon i started to get what i thought were contractions but then they stopped so i thought everything was ok, it was as i was putting zack danielle and charlie to bed that i found i had been bleeding so i phoned the hospital for advice, when the midwife asked me about feeling movement, i realised that i had'nt noticed any for a couple of days but i just thought that you moved while i was sleeping, i was advised to come to the maternity unit for a check up, i went alone because i thought it was just a check up but when i got there the midwife could'nt find a heart beat at all, she got a doctor to do a emergency scan where he confirmed that you had died, i will never forget the immense pain and trauma of giving birth to you alone and without the support of any family member there to comfort me you were born at 3:30am after 1 and a half hour induced labour weighing 2 pound 13 ounces, i was told it was caused by placenta abruptio, also the cord was tightly around your neck. i couldnt bare to see you when you were first born, it was just far to emotionaly painful, it was later in the afternoon that i felt able to see and cuddle you and it tore me apart, and the only sound in the silent room was my uncontrollable tears falling on your little body.your funeral was arranged by the hospital it was very difficult emotionaly for me to do, but i asked if i could carry your little coffin from the hearse to where you were laid to rest, a few weeks after i lost you, i felt so low and depressed,i decided i needed to have something in memory of you, so i brought myself a diamond pave ring which i never took off, it was so special to me, and in our family it became known as amees ring, i was still grieving for you when tragedy struck again exactly 22 months later to the day when i lost your eldest brother zack, my first born, it was when zack died, i took your ring off for the very first time, i will explain my reason in zacks eulogy

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TO LOSE YOU ZACK COMPLETELY BROKE MY HEART BUT I'VE HAD TO CARRY ON FOR THE SAKE OF DAN CHARLIE AND MARC, NO JUSTICE WAS EVER DONE WITH THE ACCIDENT, THE DRIVER SO I HEARD GOT AWAY WITH A £350 POUND FINE, FOR DRIVING ALONE WITH A PROVISIONAL LICENCE AND A FRAUDULENT INSURENCE, NOTHING FOR TAKING YOUR LIFE. WORDS JUST CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, YOU WERE MY FIRST BORN CHILD, AND I WILL MISS YOU UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.



ZACK BURTON - 19-10-87 - 10-12-99

zack you were taken from us in a tragic bicycle accident, you were just 12 years old with your whole life ahead of you, you were the eldest of four children, as after losing amee, i went on to have your baby brother marc, who was only six months old when we lost you, when you were younger, people used to say that you looked angelic your hair was very blonde and you had the most gorgeous dark brown eyes, you reminded me of oliver and every time i see that film now, it fills me with sadness you were such a caring loving and gentle boy and you didnt have a bad word to say about anyone. you had a love for animals and couldnt bare to hear of people being cruel to them, i remember when you found a wounded pigeon, you brought it home to see if i could make it better, but i didnt know what to do so you took it to your friend keiths house, you absolutly idolised nan and grandad, and they did you, you had a incredibly strong bond with your grandad your were more like his son than grandson you were always together, fishing and going to the boat yard where you would help do jobs on his boats, it was even grandad who taught you how to swim, where you and he every summer did so in the creek, always with a life jacket on though. the day of your accident our lifes were completely torn apart, every friday night you went to a youth club with your friend, he would cycle over to our house and you would go together, the week before
the accident you decided to meet each other there, i was'nt at all happy about you going alone and said no but i eventually gave in, but phoned miracles to make sure you were safely there, the day of your accident you arranged to meet there again, i did'nt want to embaress you by phoning again so i did'nt, i honestly thought you would be ok, when i knew you was due to come home i opened the door to see a bike on the grass, it was your friend coming to see why you didnt go, the panic welled inside me as i said you left about 4:45pm to meet him and this was now 9pm. i didnt know what to do so i rang nan and grandad to see if you were there then i rang your dad at the pub, i then reported you missing to the police, and then i phoned the hospital, i explained to the nurse that my son had gone missing and that i was ringing to see if there had been an accident, i was told there had been, and was asked to describe what you was wearing, and where you lived, the nurse then said she had better get in touch with the police to bring us to the hospital, i asked if you were ok, and all i was told was that it was very serious, the police arrived and asked to look at a recent photo of you it was then they removed there helmits and broke it to us that you had been hit by a car while crossing the road, and that you lost your young life on the way to hospital it was a serious head injury., when we arrived at the hospital we had to do the most horrendous thing a parent can do, identifying your body, i could'nt bring myself to go in the room so your dad went in and it was when i heard your dad being stopped from picking you up off the slab you were laying on that i knew there had'nt been a mistake and that it really was you, i came in the room after and seeing you just laying there motionless with a huge bandage around your head, there just is'nt any words to explain how i felt, i was so deep in shock i was'nt able to cry, when you was in the chapel of rest, your dad and i came to see you,it will haunt me for as long as i live, i remember i could'nt stop screaming and crying and telling you i love you over and over again,i had amees ring put on your finger,because it meant so much to me, it was as if a big part of me would always be with you. your funeral was arranged for monday 20th december 1999, i know the church was packed solid, but i could'nt look at anyone, i cant remember anything that was said or what hymns were sung it is a blur to me, i could'nt believe, my zack, my little boy, was in the white coffin that was in front of me at the alter, it was totally and utterly soul destroying, i have never felt so much pain in all my life. losing you zack, completely left the whole family devastated and for me speaking as your mum the first couple of years were so hard to get through i had your younger sister and brothers to care for, and all i could think about at first was coming to be with you, they needed me as much as i needed them and it was them that kept me sane, i began to sleep in your bed cuddling your unwashed school shirt this went on for a year and a half and i was never able to wash the bedding. your clothing stayed in your drawers for a couple of years i still have them, i have everything you possessed and i know i will never be able to part with them. i had your baby brothers name altered so that your name is now his middle name, ive had two tattoes in memory of you one being a portrait. before the tattoes i had to kiss your photo and tell you i loved you. before i went anywhere but now you are with me all the time, my heart has been completely broken, but over the years i have learnt to live with the overwhelming pain of losing you, to try to help me cope better because i just could'nt accept that i would never ever see you again, i turned to seeing mediums i now know that you and amee are together and being cared for by my nans and grandads, your great grandparents and this gives me alot of comfort knowing you are together and safe and that i know that i will eventually see you again, for as long as i live i know i will never stop missing you and i love you so very very much god bless you my darling zack
my love forever
mum
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No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it,
And only god knows why,
Our hearts still ache in sadness,
And secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.


missing you


i'm missing you a little more
each time i hear your name
i've cried so many tears
yet my heart is broken just the same
something will remind me
i never know just when
it might be something someone says
and it all comes back again
i miss our times together
the happiness, the fun
once again i feel the pain
of life without my son
i spend my time just thinking
of what life for you,should now be
you should'nt be in heaven zack
you should still be here with me
i've so many precious memories
i will cherish my whole life through
each one of them reminds me
of how much i am missing you
losing you, has been so hard to bare
nothing can fill the emptiness inside my heart
now your no longer there

i love and miss you so very much, be happy up in heaven my darling son

god bless you
my love always
mum
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